Ok, so, we’re not getting married for the presents. We’re getting married for love and to share our love with you and to show our love… blah blah blah. Yup, it’s all about the presents. I would like a Formula 310 BR Speed Boat, or maybe the Airbus H125 Helicopter, or perhaps just something simple like a the Tesla Model S. I think that’d be the ideal first car for me.

HOWEVER, Simon says I have to be realistic. And all of those things are far too big for a single suitcase.

The truth is, we’ve embraced a more minimalist lifestyle in recent years. Our plan for the next few years in to travel from project to project across the UK and further afield and it doesn’t make sense to carry seven shedloads of stuff with us every time we make a move. So, we constantly downsize. Books are gifted, clothes are charity-shopped, and the rest of the junk is junked. We try to avoid buying things and instead like to treat each other to experiences (trips away, the theatre, fancy dinners where the waiter refers to me as “sir” and doesn’t follow up with “please leave before we call the authorities”). We’ve more-or-less stopped buying CDs, DVDs, books, and comics, opting instead to stream through Netflix and Spotify, and download to the Kindles.

And when it comes to receiving gifts from others, we really do not want to appear ungrateful, but please don’t buy us physical stuff (unless it’s a speed boat). We genuinely don’t need anything, in fact. We’re thrilled that you’ll just join us to celebrate our wedding with us. But if you do feel inclined towards treating us, remember we have a small suitcase. Cash for the honeymoon, vouchers and gift cards, donations to LGBT+ charities – all of these would be wonderful.

Thank you in advance for anything we do receive, but mostly we’re just looking forward to seeing as many of you as possible on January 25th. You can dance with Simon, drink with me, and sing with both of us. That would be a pretty awesome gift!